The Dangers of Chutney (duuh duh duhhhhhnn....)

  Okay, so I didn't really think anyone actually read this, i more of thought the views were just people who randomly got thrown here and that counted as a view. So even if it's just one viewer who actually values this blog, i'll do my best to keep posting! So in the past few months that i haven't posted during, a lot has happened, so my next few posts will include what has happened. First let's start with the most life changing event: my first reaction in over 5-6 years!
  So i had my reaction on Thanksgiving of last year (a holiday all about food, what a coincidence!). The day was going perfectly, family and friends arrived to watch golf and catch up. I into one of my favorite dresses and did my hair in a perfect little high-set bun. I was prepared for the conversations with adults i was soon to be forced to have. Me and my siblings went outside to kick around the soccer ball and try to burn some calories before eating our turkey feast.
  After playing for some time i got cold (i refused to wear a jacket in fear of ruining my hair) and went inside to grab a snack. I headed straight for my usual, pepperoni, when my grandfather started raving about the brie cheese and chutney combo. So through his persuasion, i decided to try something new.
  I had my mom make me up a cracker with the brie and chutney and ate it up. My first reaction was that it was delicious! I loved it and wanted another cracker. But, my second reaction was, fuck... my whole mouth is stinging and tingling... i haven't felt this sensation in a very long time.
  It had been so long since a reaction that i didn't actually remember what it felt like, i only remembered that i had had reactions and that it was terrifying (im actually shaking writing about this now). I knew that sometimes my lips would tingle when my lips were chapped and i ate something salty or citrusy, but that feeling on Thanksgiving was different from any other.
  I immediately told my mom that something was wrong and she lept into action, trying to figure out what i ate that could have caused this. She then ran to the fridge and grabbed the bottle of chutney, the only possible explanation for what was happening. I ran up next to her and in that moment, reading the ingredients of the chutney, my heart dropped. Walnuts.
  As soon as i read that i panicked, texted my boyfriend that i was scared i was going to die, and ran upstairs to brush my teeth. I picked out pieces of walnut from my teeth and started to cry. My mom and sister surrounded me and hugged me, trying to calm me down, and eventually i did. I don't know why i was able to calm down so easily, but it seemed that everything would be okay.
  My gums started to swell in the bottom of my mouth. My mom then informed me that she would have to give me to epi-pen. Well, this was an absolutely terrifying thing to hear. I haven't been shot with an epi-pen in years. Too many years to remember if "it won't hurt, don't worry", was true or not.
  I didn't really have the choice or the time to get over this skepticism so i laid out on the foyer floor.
  The epi-pen didn't actually hurt that much, which was extremely surprising to me, especially because it caused me to bleed and gave me a more-than-noticeable bruise.
  We all then rushed to the hospital, leaving family and guests behind at our house. When sitting in the waiting room i was shaking uncontrollably, partly form fear and partly from the adrenaline.
  Thinking about it now, while waiting for the nurse to finish filling things out, all i could think about was that i was glad i at least looked good in my dress and done-up hair.
  Everything calmed down once i was at the hospital. I was given an IV and pumped with life-saving drugs. I eventually fell asleep for almost all of the 8 or 9 hours i was there.
  Even though the whole experience was terrifying, im almost glad it happened. I learned so much from that one experience.
  So, for those of you who haven't had a reaction in months or years, let me tell you this:
    Stay calm, just get help and breathe deeply, freaking out will only make things worst.
    The epi-pen doesn't hurt that much, surprisingly, and you can show off your tough-guy, survival         bruise to all of your friends (as i did!)
    And last of all, you know your body best, you know best what's going on. The feeling of a reaction is different from any other. Trust your gut when you think something is wrong, it could save your life!
You can never be too careful!

It feels great to be blogging again and telling my stories, thank you to whomever commented and helped me to start sharing again :)

Jobs!

So i haven't posted in a few weeks and this isn't because i don't like blogging, because i actually love it and it's something new that i like to try. I've been trying to post every Sunday but, as many probably have noticed, i haven't been keeping up with that. School is driving me insane with work, but thats not the point of this post! I wanted to talk about jobs. I've been searching for jobs everywhere and i haven't had the best luck, but ill keep trying! With allergies, working in any sort of establishment that serves any food just can't happen. I remember that when i first started my job search i wanted to work at Subway. My thought process was how fun it will be to just make sandwiches all day and serving with a smile! The thing that i didn't seem to notice was the cookie tray right next to the register with macadamia nut cookies. Can't work there. I loved Subway and wanted to work there but i'd rather be safe than be risking my life every time someone ordered a cookie! Even though there seems to be a lot more teenage jobs in food businesses than non-food businesses there really are a lot of opportunities for fun jobs that don't involve food. Granted you won't be able to have the fun summer job of working at an ice-cream place, but those places don't pay that well anyway! There are always fun clothing places to work at! Right now i'm actually desperately trying to get a job at American Eagle! I would love to work there because of the fun atmosphere and friendly people. I wanted to work at Abercrombie and Fitch for a little while but then realized that the dark closed, perfume filled space might not be the best for a kid with asthma. Although my dream of working at Subway may never come true, i looke forward to hopefully working at a clothing store or even a fun electronics store sometime soon!

Sugar!

  So, instead of being informative about the life of an allergy afflicted teenager, i decided that today i would just write about a funny story and lighten the mood! 

  One night i was going out with my friends to dinner at the ninety-nine, a common Lynnfield hot-spot. We got seated at our table and we're just having fun, gossiping about the week. When the waitress came over to take our orders, she was loud and overly-friendly. She immediately asked all of us if we went to Lynnfield High School, and when we all answered yes she started to rant about how she was a close friend of our history teacher. Us, as a group of teenagers, felt awkward that she wouldn't stop talking.

  Eventually, she took our orders and almost all of us ordered the same thing, the BBQ chicken wrap, which is probably the only dish i like at the ninety - nine as well as it is the most popular dish served there. 

  When i placed my order i told my waitress about my food allergy and when she confirmed that she would check with the chef and let me know when she came back out, i felt safe. But, right before she left our table, she said, "Well, it must really stink being allergic to sugar!"

  I was extremely confused by this statement and immediately asked her what she was saying, to which she responded, "You said you were allergic to sugar, right?" "No..." i said, "I'm allergic to tree-nuts..." And after that was said she went into a rant about how her hearing was going as she gets older etc etc etc. Once everything was cleared up, she left and me and my friends immediately burst out laughing at our table. "How could she think saying tree-nuts was sugar?!" we all kept saying, barely able to talk from laughter. 

  Ever since that night at dinner, saying "Sugar?!" in an old woman's Boston accent has become an inside joke that can make any of my friends laugh at any time.

  Although allergies are a serious thing, there are always funny stories and times that come along with them! Being safe is a priority, but so is having fun with friends!

School Lunches

  Sorry for the delayed posting, it's no coincidence that just as school starts my blogging slows down. 2 AP classes, 3 honors classes, studying for the PSATs, studying for the SATs, and dealing with a social life.. Gotta fit blogging in there somewhere. There can be so much stress in school and there can be even more stress in the lunch room. 

  All throughout elementary school and middle school i was assigned the "Nut-Free Table." AKA, the loner table in the corner that was as far away from other tables as possible. I had to sign up which friends would sit with me each week and they had to inform their parents that they couldn't bring any nuts of any sort that week and that they must wash their hands before and after eating with me. 

  In elementary school, i didn't care that i was separated from the other kids, because i still got to sit with my friends. When i was young, it was actually popular to get to sit at the nut-free table because it required a special invitation. My friends now, who weren't my friends in elementary school, always tell me that they always hoped to get invited to the nut-free table and were crushed that they never were. I basically invited the same people every week so no one other than my two best friends at the time had a chance of receiving an invitation. I was like a lunch-time celebrity.

  In middle school that changed, i went basically unnoticed at lunch and no one really gave a shit if they were invited to the special table or not. By middle school everyone had their little cliques, and i had mine, so i always sat with the same people anyway. The table was of course in the corner, far away from all the others so that there was no chance that the air i breathed would be contaminated.
  By the time i was in eighth grade, i started getting angry about having to sit at the god-forsaken nut-free table. I wanted to feel normal. By the end of eighth grade, i ended up sneaking around the lunch-room and sitting at other tables, eventually pissing off the nurse. (I don't always have the best relationships with the school nurses, due to my stubborn attitude.)
  Once i got into high school, as soon as the idea of a nut-free table was mentioned, i shot it down. I was old enough to keep myself safe and there was no way that i was committing the total social suicide that was sticking me and my friends in the corner of the lunch room. 
  I understand the concept of the nut-free table in elementary and middle school, where i was too young to truly understand how to keep myself safe and would've easily caved to peer pressure. In high school i'm more mature and know how to keep myself away from danger. The older i've gotten, the safer i have been able to keep myself and more importantly, the less i have needed the nurse to assign me to a nut-free table.
  Although i hated the nut-free table in eighth grade, i'm sure it helped to keep me safe in the long run. 
  In high school, i may have more independence, but i also have more responsibility to keep myself safe.

  

They Aren't as Bad as They Seem

  So I've decided to do my post a little early this week due to the fact that a horrible cold is keeping me up until midnight, so to pass the time i figured I'd write! Here we go. I'm going to tell you why food allergies are really not that bad. It seems like its going to be a difficult task, right? To answer that, it really won't be hard at all. 

  I've had food allergies since i was 4, so naturally, I've gotten used to having them (I've had them for almost 13 years!) The first reason why allergies are not horrible to have is that people remember you. You have that unique quality of being able to die at any random time just by eating something or being around a food. I've noticed that many people remember me with more ease than others just by the fact that i have my own unique way of dying. Sounds kind of bad, doesn't it? If it does, that's not what I'm trying to get at, I'm just getting at the point that my food allergies make me unique. They make me who i am and have helped to shape my life and make me a more responsible and mature person.

  On to the next one! My food allergies have also made me a much more social person, due to the fact that i have to talk to adults and other people to tell them about my allergies. Having food allergies is also a great conversation starter! "Have you ever had to use your epi-pen?" "What's it like having a reaction?" "How long have you had your allergies?" I have heard all of these questions and more. People are curious about food allergies and that constant threat that surrounds you. I have made many strong friendships because of my allergies and talking to people about them. I used to be a very shy and quiet person but because of the necessity there is to talk to people, i had to overcome my shy personality to keep myself safe. 

  Number three. Personally, my allergies have given me confidence and have made me less afraid of death. This may not be true for everyone but it is especially true for me. Almost everyday, someone does the kind gesture of offering me food (people without allergies probably don't notice that this happens basically every day to them but with food allergies you have to take notice). Usually if the food is not safe I'll casually say "No thanks, that'll kill me" or "Nah, I'll die." I try to make light of the situation because I've taken my allergies so seriously for so long that i want to be able to keep the situation light, while still keeping myself completely safe. One person has even told me that i am the most comfortable person with death that he's ever met. I took that as a compliment because, yes, i may have the possibility of dying from my allergies at any moment, but there is no way that I will ever let that get me down. Over time i have learned to love my allergies and all that they have made me. Never let your food allergies get you down. Be safe, but always stay happy!

  Those are three major reasons why food allergies don't have to suck. Those are definitely not the only three though. I may be ending this post now but expect many more posts like these to come, mixed in with my other stories! I have to end this post now because i really shouldn't be staying up until 12:30 with a horrible cold! 

  I would love to get some comments, so if you have anything to say write it in! I'd love to hear it! I hope everyone is having a great beginning of the school year! Talk to you next week!

My Talking Doctor

  So when i was about 10 i started going to, as my family called it, my talking doctor. My "talking doctor" was a therapist that i needed to start going to due to my fear of someone entering my room in the middle of the night and putting a tree-nut into my mouth and killing me. I would leave school in the middle of the day every Friday to go to my therapist and my therapist and i would sit in a room and just talk. Looking back on it now, i recently realized that i didn't even notice that i was in therapy and i only recognized the fact that i got to get out of school early to sit in a room and play with jax and the etch-a-sketch. I know now that my life was completely changed by that doctor, i am much more outgoing person and was given much more confidence by my therapist. She taught me that i didn't need to be afraid of something that was so unlikely to actually occur. She also gave me the courage to be able to talk to adults about my allergies and to be able to stand up for myself and say no, even to an adult, if i couldn't eat something.

  When i was younger, before i went to my therapist, i believed that all adults knew better than i did. What i didn't understand was that not all adults actually understood how severe my allergies are. Many adults didn't take me as seriously as they should've because i was so young. When going over some friend's houses when i was younger, some parents would just skim over ingredients and say that it was safe and although i felt uncomfortable and unsafe, i would eat everything anyway in order to avoid being rude. What i understand now is that it is perfectly okay to be rude if it results in me keeping my life and being safe.

  What advice i have to give is that it is okay to be rude if it means being safe. Some adults that have had no experience with allergies just do not grasp the real threat of them. Although they try their best to understand and want to keep me alive, they just do not take it as seriously as they should. Many people do not understand that cross-contamination is a very dangerous threat that is just as deadly as having a food containing the allergen, and many also do not understand that foods being processed in the same factory as allergens are deadly too.

  All in all, what i'm basically getting at is, if it means saving your life, be rude and stand up for yourself. No matter what.

For My Mom

  My mom is the most amazing person. She is the best mother i could have ever hoped to have. She is the sole reason that i am alive today, she has been willing to do anything to keep me safe. Ever since the moment when my parents discovered i had life-threatening allergies, my mom has done everything in her power to keep me safe. If i can't eat somewhere, she won't eat either. She has always been willing to sacrifice anything she can to keep me alive and smiling. She has been with me through everything and has been at the hospital holding my hand every time i have had a reaction, severe or not. I go to her when i'm scared and she always helps me to feel better with her great sense of humor and wonderful smile. I remember one time when i came home from a middle school pizza party crying because i couldn't eat the pizza they were serving, i sat on the stairs sobbing and she hugged me and told me everything was okay and somehow got me to smile, even though i was so upset. She made sure to bring pizza home for dinner the next night. My mother is amazing. As well as being a fantastic mother, she is a great cook. Whenever i couldn't eat something when i went out, she would always make the safe version of the food the next day for me so that i could eat it. She can make anything and everything she makes is delicious. She loves to try those 30-minute meals from the Rachel Ray magazine and loves to try new things. 
  I don't know what i would do without my mom, she keeps me happy and makes having food allergies less stressful. She helps me to forget all of my troubles and makes life simple. I am the luckiest person to have such a mother. I could never thank her enough for what she does every single day. I love her with all of my heart.

  My mom is also a wonderful singer and has sung in several movies and video games, she has many CDs too, check out her website and listen to some music!